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Farewell Dad

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Daddy’s Girl

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I wrote this post 13 years ago. Today, Dad is 99, and he is at the VA Hospice, where they are keeping him comfortable until he expires. The downfall of our relationship is that I am extremely attached to this man and I am finding it difficult to let him go.

Daddy’s Girl

utc youngBesides being one of the most handsome men on the planet, my Dad is also one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met. I realized he was handsome when I was five years old. I told my Mother, “If you weren’t married to Daddy, I would marry him.” Of course, all girls who love there father and receive his love think that their Daddy is the best looking man in the world, so my statement isn’t really that stupendous. As I grew older and realized that some other girls were afraid of their fathers for one unwholesome reason or another, I knew that I did have one of the best fathers in the world.

He was strict. Make no mistake about that. He was never brutal to my Mother or to me. If he chastised me, he turned around and gave me a quarter to go buy candy at the corner store, which may have been bad parenting, but it sure left a sugar hole in my heart for him.

I suppose the one occasion when I knew my Dad loved me, unconditionally, was when my Mom told him that I was six months pregnant when I was only 16. I thought he was really going to crown me. But we sat on the couch in the living room and he grabbed my hand, at a moment when I thought my life was surely about to end, and he said, “We’ll work it out together.” From that day to this, 41 years later, I am convinced that some angels got together and delivered me to this angelic man. All my metaphysical reading convinced me that my Dad exemplifies the Ascended Masters. He keeps a good sense of humor and never lets life’s pitfalls get him down.

1dadmommilitaryNow, I knew that Mom and Dad weren’t getting along, from a very young age, probably around 10 or 11. They split up when I was 13, a very fragile age for a girl. But Dad always let us know where he was and that we could contact him at any given moment. And, at 57, I still can pick up the phone and call him just to talk, to make a loan that I always repay or to get parenting advice to use on my two adult children and their offspring.

The one thing that I hold my Dad responsible for is introducing me to music. Our house was always filled with the sounds of jazz, blues, and classics when Dad was home. Mom was more of a finger-popper, but the pop music didn’t play when Dad was there. It was Ellington, Basie, Ella or Brahms, Schubert, and Tchaikovsky. Now, Dad worked as a postal railway clerk on the trip from Manhattan to Boston. So, he would be out three days straight and home for three days. When he was out, we were jitterbugging. But when he came home, it was strictly the serious music playing on our huge ebony wood Grundig stereo.

Our house was super clean. Both of my parents were sticklers for cleanliness, which was, of course, next to godliness. Neither was very religious, yet they maintained a high moral constitution. We were taught not to steal, lie or cheat at a very young age. Education was at the top of their list for us kids. My brother and I attended St. Clement Pope Catholic grammar school in Queens, New York. Both parents saw to it that we did our homework and got good grades. The result for me was a scholarship to the diocesan high school, Bishop McDonnell, in Brooklyn. I even went to a Catholic college, LaSalle, in Philadelphia, where I got my Bachelor of Arts degree in Music and Communication.

Today, my father is 86 years young. He walks every day and is married to a woman younger than my daughter! He has great vitality, eats right, minds his own business and takes the news with a grain of salt. Dad always keeps up with what we are doing, though he is not meddlesome. I believe this is one of the most important lessons I have learned from him. Live and let live!

There were a few reasons why I realized that my Dad was better than a lot of other Dads. First, he was always there for us. He worked hard. A military man, he was very disciplined and that spilled over into my life. He taught us how to cook, clean, read, comprehend and regurgitate what we had learned. Mom taught us how to really clean, but seeing Dad wash dishes and clothes, clean the floors and paint our house every other year, really reinforced what Mom taught us. I believe the downfall of every person on Earth is that they didn’t have both parents to reinforce good values.

I credit my parents with working hard to give us the things that we needed to be comfortable enough to study our lessons. As I grew older, and especially since I divorced my own children’s father when they were very young, I realized that the values instilled in me by Mom and Dad would get me through this life, no matter how hard the challenges I would face.

The second and most impacting reason why I love my Dad stems from something that was happening to a little girl on my block. We didn’t find out until she was in her twenties, but her father was molesting her, since the age of 10. When I learned about this, I was numb. She died in her early forties from an overdose of heroin, after giving birth to a heroin baby. It was tragic. We were like sisters and I never really understood why she was always so sassy and sarcastic to everyone around her, until I learned about her molestation. Her mother died when she was only 16. Then, her brother died in his thirties from alcohol abuse, but I really think he died from heartbreak that his father was doing this to his sister. So, from the moment I found out about this activity, I began to reflect on the way my Dad treated me. I knew I was blessed.

I was so close to my father as a little girl that, when he would come home from his postal run to Boston at 1 a.m., I would still be awake, waiting for him. A few times, I spent the night with my neighbor, who shared the driveway with us. I’d hear my Dad walking up the driveway and I would jump out of the bed and run home, just to hug Dad. He would always welcome me with open arms. He was strict, but he knew how to love me and that’s all that mattered to me then and now. Only of late did my friend tell me she would cry when I would leave. But she had a great Dad, too, so I think she understood.

I believe that my relationship with my father is the most important relationship I have ever had. I’ve been looking for him in other men. I came close with my last husband (I’ve had four), who is from Gambia, West Africa. He is Sunni Muslim and is very austere, no drinks, no cigarettes, no vulgarity, and he is very, very clean. It took me one year to realize that he was cleaning my floors every Saturday morning, while I was on the computer learning HTML! We are divorced and he is remarried with a beautiful little girl who is my goddaughter! Wow, that’s an accomplishment in itself, to remain friends with an ex-husband. But he is so much like my father and it is impossible to be angry with him about anything.

Just before my mother passed, she told me that my father is a good man. She said, “If I knew then, what I know now, I would have stayed with your father.” Now, they were like a bull and a matador. My Dad is Taurus and Mom was Virgo. So, they argued a lot! But, as they grew older, they calmed down a lot. I think, if they’d stayed together, they would have eventually gotten over their differences. Mom was diabetic and an amputee. About two months before her passing, I visited her at the nursing home, where she was cared for. I saw Dad hand her a piece of paper. When he left, I asked her what it was. She told me it was her alimony check. Wow! I was amazed because they’d been divorced for 18 years and he was still paying her alimony! I’ve had four husbands and haven’t gotten one alimony check yet!!!!!!

At that moment, I had even more respect for my Dad. He is a man of honor. It was difficult for my parents because my Mom came from a matriarchy, just her mother and her sister. Her Dad passed away when she was only three years old. On the other hand, Dad was from a patriarchy. His father raised him and his two brothers. Their mother was sickly. She lived on an out island in the Bahamas, while Poppa brought his sons to Florida, where he had a lawn service and raised them with a very stern hand. They said that Poppa was mean, but I believe he was just concerned that they grew up to be honest, upright men. They each had families. My older uncle and his wife adopted a daughter, but she died very unhappy, shortly before her father passed away, after leaving his wife for another woman. The middle brother has two children with a German woman who had a daughter when they met. Their children are accomplished, but he lives like a hermit, far away from them.

My Dad married a woman from Honduras who is 43 years his junior. She loves him very much, unless she’s a very good actress. I asked her how they met. She said she put an ad in a magazine or newspaper asking men to write her a letter. She said the letter my Dad wrote was the best one she received. He was in his seventies, then. He told me that the doctor told him he needed to have a woman to relieve his prostate. Sounded like a good reason to me (smile)! She takes good care of him. She has him doing Yoga and eating all the right foods. He has her taking vitamins and they both are aglow. I remember reading love letters that my Dad wrote to my Mom when they were in service and he was in Italy. They were just beautiful. I guess women love that sort of thing and he’s good at it.

I’m happy that my father is happy because, all my life, he’s been there to make sure that I have what I need to live in peace. I know his time is coming to an end. Longevity runs in his family. One of his aunts lived to be 103. Another lived to be 106. His father’s last wife just passed away at 101. So, there’s reason to believe that, with the tender loving care that his young wife gives him, and with the way that he lives – no smoking, drinking, vulgarity, stress – there’s a chance that he’ll be around for another 15 years, which will be fine with me.

I love picking up the phone to report something wonderful that has happened to me, like recently, when I first flew a plane, which really didn’t make Dad very happy. I told him I wanted to get my pilots license. He told me to “stay cool and on the ground!”

When I was in my early forties, I got the opportunity to travel to Europe to sing. I spent eight years in eight countries singing my heart out and, of course, the music in my heart came from my Dad’s long-playing records. I would call him every Sunday from a phone booth to report the concerts I had just done or was about to do. He was always very encouraging. He never intimated that I should stop singing and come home to attend to him. He’s strong. He’s independent. He’s kind and very loving and I am one of the luckiest women in the world to have a Dad like him and I make sure I tell him so, at every opportunity.

One last note, on May 7, 2003, we celebrated my Dad’s 83rd birthday. It was Dad, his wife, and me. It was a lovely afternoon and we had lunch. At 4:30 p.m., they left. At 5:15 p.m., my phone rang. It was my daughter. She was crying. She could hardly tell me that her husband of nine years had just been in a car accident. He passed away 45 minutes later. He was 37. The tragedy was that my daughter, who was alienated from her own father, had married a man who took loving care of the three children fathered by three separate men. The middle child, a boy, lived with his father, but the older boy and younger girl didn’t know their fathers. So, her husband was a very, very special man. He loved her and her children as if they were his own. The little girl was his. She was only two when the couple married. She was 11 when he passed and she was a REAL Daddy’s girl. His loss was devastating to us all.

I am one of the lucky ones and I try to extend extra love to women and men who are not so lucky. This is what my parents taught me and my brother to do. My brother has a non-profit organization, The Children’s Coalition, Inc., that is devoted to helping at-risk children find their artistry in photography, videography and computer technology. I am ever grateful for the angels who brought us to Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright.

So, every year, since then, I’ve had two men on my mind on May 7th – my Dad and my son-in-law, who treated me like Queen-Mother! Men are wonderful beings. Their upbringing makes them who they are and the way they treat their children makes us who we are.

Who Am I?

Again, it is time to reinvent, after recapping the activities and occurrences of the past year. It was a very hot year, 2017. Many things culminated in 2017, including the completion of my doctorate.

peace-sign handThis completion led to new beginnings that I am just now recognizing. I live in a new place, in a new city, with new responsibilities and goals. The goal is to take it to the next level. But first, I must recognize who I AM!

I AM the light, the way, the bringer of peace and tranquility. THAT is who I AM!

I live in the light. I walk the way. I bring peace.

I AM tranquility.

I AM ascending to higher heights of knowing, understanding, and being.

My universe is filled with moments of love, light, peace, and joy.

Singular bliss defines my existence.

Ase!

Breathe and Push

This woman has words of wisdom, hope, and love.

Spirit Halima

Tonight, I talk with Spirit Halima about connecting with your Avatar or Higher Self.

Envisioning

Discussion with Spirit Halima of Envisions, how to create your Avatar and align with your Highest Self.

Insight into how you can design, create, and envision the Higher Self to manifest what you truly desire.

An Avatar means descent, a divine entity descending to Earth – a God or Goddess.

Avatars are used in social media and virtual reality.

That’s what we must do – design ourselves from the inside out.

  • Who do we want around us? That takes focus and attention.
  • What was not working for us in 2017?
  • Do your spiritual accounting about how you used your energy, focus, and will. What did you do to thrive?
  • What activities were sucking up your energy and not life-affirming?

The 17-year cycle is closing. Journaling can be free writing, gratitude journaling, or doing it to affect a shift in you. Write the story that you really want to live. Be aware of not letting your present-day circumstances to dictate your mood. Move from survival mood to raising your energy level. Tap into your Higher Self.

When we are born and begin to walk and talk, we are never told that we have authority over ourselves. Our responsibility is to get the highest knowledge for ourselves and our children. Question everything and put the seeds into our children’s minds that they are Gods and Goddesses. They are the first book they must know!

When you relinquish authority, you don’t see yourself as a creator, creatrix. Idolizing celebrities, while ignoring your own divinity is a mistake.

How do you live your life energy to solve other people’s problems – people you don’t even know?

Why would you use Disney to entertain your children instead of teaching them to create entertainment for themselves.  The most important law is to KNOW THYSELF.

You must feel that your inherent worth is precious.  Do not make others responsible for your life. Every person is different. Connect with your own energy. Act against the paradigm. See how your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes are limited and not serving you.

Women dedicate their lives to their husband and children and when they leave her, they go to Jesus and church. Women must learn to live life for themselves and their children will appreciate that they live a fearless life. Connect with your desire and your children will see that it’s not acceptable to leave your dreams unfulfilled. Avoid being the wounded feminine.

Contacts:

  • Feminine is a beautiful force, determining how and why your receive. She is the ultimate nurturer with compassion and wisdom. She is intuitive. But she is also the eye of the storm that communicates with nature around herself. The wounded feminine is celebrated in the Western culture. She does not feel that she is enough. She does not feel her inherent worth. She follows trends rather than her own heart. The empowered feminine knows that she is beautiful. She will shut down industries that feed off of her insecurities. She does not struggle to fulfill her desires.
  • Men suffer from the wounded feminine within himself. Masculine is mind. The masculine determines what you receive and what you receive. It is clarity, focus, and how you handle power. Men have their mother issues. Money factors into his insecurity. Men may say ‘yes’ when they mean ‘no. The empowered masculine evokes strong decisions.

Sexual harassment in the media might be more manipulation than truth. But males suffer from rejection. Women must transform themselves to activate their own masculine energy. Women in India used their empowered masculinity to punish men that commit sexual harassment. They are known as the Gupalongi (sp).

Halima’s vision is that we return to respect, honesty, and love. In the cosmos, male and female are ONE. Here on Earth, we must learn to be vulnerable to access your own wisdom and self-correct. That is a powerful shift. The program running in our lives makes us compete with and prey upon one another rather than appreciate the beauty of men and women. We do not see masculine and feminine celebrated in the media. We only see the wounded entities. We must return to integrity and honesty instead of being attached and addicted to human drama.

Thank you, Spirit Halima for sharing your insights with us. We will talk again in January!

Love, Peace, Truth, Freedom, and Justice,

Mamayah

 

 

 

Light Body

From http://www.visionalignmentproject.com

A Vision for Building a Light Body

1EnergyShifts_122514We see a world where people everywhere, in every land, in every walk of life, have realized that there is a process of evolution proceeding in humankind, and that this process involves us growing a soul – or, as it is sometimes called, building a light body.

We see humanity’s focus on education now directed away from the mundane political, historical, and economic topics, and moved toward those endeavors which enhance the possibilities for our soul’s growth – endeavors such as meditation, right thinking, proper prayer, intention making, community making, self-empowerment, Qigong, Tai Chi, yoga, pranic breathing, pranic eating, astrology, tarot, daily exercise and more. Likewise, we see certain books being especially helpful. Books such as: I Ching, A Course in Miracles, The Way of Mastery, Journey Beyond Words, The Code: 10 Intentions for a Better World, The Fifth Agreement, Oneness, The Impersonal Life, The Way Out, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, The Twelfth Insight, The I AM Discourses, books by Gregg Braden, Abraham/Hicks, Barbara Marciniak, Deepak Chopra, Rasha, James Redfield, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Ken Carey, Neale Donald Walsch, Mike Dooley, Byron Katie, Kryon, David Wilcock, Carlos Casteneda and more.

Accordingly, we see ourselves living in a world where our priorities have shifted en masse, whereby we now know that our essence is multidimensional and that the next rung on our evolutionary ladder brings us into a conscious awareness of God and the knowing that we are all connected to each other. With such an awareness, our Spirit is freed to explore, experience, and evolve into lighter states of being, higher states of joy, sacred states of love.

http://www.visionalignmentproject.com

Patience

jcaura-redartToday, I told my daughter that she and her brother and their children should give me some Patience for Mother’s Day. Perhaps, they could put it in a box or a bottle so I can keep it around to sprinkle on my shoulders when I need it.  We laughed.  But it is not funny because all my life I have had difficulties with patience with situations and people. In email, I received this from http://www.visionalignmentproject.com

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The Vision Alignment Project

A Vision for Patience

We envision ourselves living in a world where the speediness of life has gone away; where the pushiness on the part of those who are in a hurry has vanished and been replaced by a calm, caring for their fellow travelers; and where we, the people, have learned to wait for the fruits of life to ripen, the wines of good character to age, the metals of impeccable will to be forged, the souls within us to rise, and the Earth to ascend in perfect, divine timing.

For it is with patience that all things mature, including Mother Earth Herself. And we, as having become responsible stewards for Her, find ourselves waiting in wondrous anticipation for Her to finish Her present cycle of growth so that we can take our next step, together, as One.

Of course, I align with this. But will it make me more patient with myself, others, and situations I am waiting to manifest?

Having completed my 6-year journey to my Doctorate in Business Administration Marketing, I have been submitting employment applications. An interview, last week, opened possibilities for me to earn a six-figure income. The waiting is painful, though. I love what the message above says about waiting “for the fruits of life to ripen, the wines of good character to age, the metals of impeccable will to be forged, the souls within us to rise, and the Earth to ascend in perfect, divine timing.”

Divine timing sounds simple.  Yet, my mind anxiously awaits a response from the interviewer.  I am eager to learn if I am the frontrunner in this job game.  Another opportunity that I applied for would take me two hours away from where I presently reside, which is only 15 minutes from my father who turns 98 on May 7.  If I am the chosen one for this position as Director of Marketing for a college, would I be willing to travel that far away from my elderly father?

Even more intriguing is an application that I put in this morning to work at a philanthropic organization in North Carolina.  Am I willing to relocate to make six-figures there?

The ultimate question is “Do I want a job?”  Since I have not had a formal job since 1996, because I own a for-profit corporation and operate a non-profit organization neither of which pays my bills, I am certain that six-figures will be very attractive at this stage of the game.  After all, isn’t that why I pursued a doctorate?

Meanwhile, I must admit that I had the patience to get a “B” in Statistics, a course that tested my patience to the nth degree.  I had the patience to accumulate data from 20 study participants, through interviews, transcription, and data analysis and reporting. So, I suppose I can say that I do have a small amount of patience.  But the waiting to hear from interviewers is still painful.

Consequently, I sit here blogging my pain and anxiety, trusting that the answer will arrive just when I need it and it will be positive and in divine order!

Dr. Diva JC

Breakthrough

Today, I contemplate three words: right, wright, and write.

Right means good, true, correct.

A wright is a maker or builder.

I will write about the breakthrough I had staying right on course being the wright of my life.

I am making my life liveable in the right way and I am fortunate to be able to write about it, here, where perhaps one other person will get what I mean. I am fulfilling my right purpose by being the wright of my existence and writing about it.

Breakthroughs

  1. Today, I learned that my doctoral dissertation was approved.
  2. It is my second son’s birthday.
  3. I completed the FDACS statement for the non-profit.
  4. I contacted the water company about a stormwater bill.
  5. I received a healthy supply of prophylactics and lube.
  6. I discovered a lovely neighborhood with gorgeous banyan trees.
  7. I wrote this blog.

The day is still young.

 

The Right Thing

iampresenceYou will know exactly the right thing to do at the right moment and you will do it!

The world is full of signs and symbols to guide you to your destiny.

Watch the beautiful scenery for we may not pass this way again.

Let us bow our heads in silent praise and gratitude to the Mighty I AM Presence which is lifting the Hearts and illumining the minds of mankind.

The most important activities of the Earth are the Inner and outer changes that need to be brought about for humanity’s advancement.

The Unlimited Force of the Cosmic Christ Light deals with darkness and no words can portray the Majesty, Power, and Victory of the Presence of the Infinite I AM. So, there shall be no doubt or fear.

Once the humanity of Earth has the God Understanding of the Eternal Perfection of the Divine Plan, it will do more to purify the chaos of the outer world than any other thing We know.

Soul Mates Graphic

Twin Rays [Source]

The Truth concerning the Twin Rays is that Its Mighty Wisdom and Power can be utilized to realize that there is No Individualization of God at Cosmic Levels in the Fullness of the Mighty I AM Presence until your Twin Ray has made the Ascension. Earthly choice has nothing whatsoever to do with it. Each Ray must, by Conscious Understanding and the use of the Great Command, purify, perfect, and illumine all the human creation by which it has surrounded itself. It then becomes the Ascended Master who forever has Conscious Dominion over the Earth and all that is therein.

When both Rays have made the Ascension, They are of the same state of Purity, Freedom, and Perfect Dominion. The Two are then able to work at Cosmic Levels. There, They can project great Cosmic Rays of Love, Light and Wisdom, focusing them with such Power, They create and control Cosmic Activities and reveal the Great Glory of the Mighty I AM Presence.

The Supreme Decree of Love Everlasting

By the Command of the Mighty I AM Presence, I join these Twin Rays of the Eternal Flame of Life in Supreme Love, Light, and Perfection.

Fact

What glories and marvels humanity could and would experience if it would only reach up consciously and sincerely to the Inner Light and the individuals open their Hearts and feelings to the Mighty Magic Presence of the I AM.

Divine Law

When one speaks in terms of Universal Truth, there is no such thing in Infinite Creation as a ‘miracle’, for what the world calls miracles are only the operation of Divine Law, which, because of Its very nature of Perfection, sets aside all humanly established laws of limitation. It is to bring the Full Understanding of the operation of Divine Law into the minds of the children of Earth that the Ascended Masters have labored in the past and for which they still do labor unceasingly with the inhabitants of this planet.

The hour is rapidly approaching when humanity must awaken to the All-Encompassing Inner Presence of God acting through the individual.

The Light of God never fails!

Wisdom is of no benefit to anyone unless it is used, and through that use, the individual manifests Perfection, so he or she can live above every limitation.

1EnergyShifts_122514Within the very Light which animates the physical body exists an Intelligence and Power that can and will carry out perfectly whatever the mind directs, when Harmony is maintained and all direction is constructive.

Love, Wisdom, and Power are the primal attributes which Life uses to build a Permanent Creation, and when mankind ceases its self-created discord, all Life around it and in Nature will express Permanent Perfection!

[Source: Godfre Ray King. The Magic Presence (Volume 2). Saint Germain Press, pp. 184-213.]

 

 

Raising Your Vibration

13Talk on raising vibration

Mama turns all negative activity around. Mama, we, the daughters of Earth, the Sweet Crone Trinity has been inspired in the spirit of compassion for the well-being of our ancient cosmic family to understand why you connected this trio to demonstrate the magic of your power to awaken and protect our universal ancient family.

Empower our ability with the authority of our common purpose. We are one in the best interests of our global family in your essence as ancient of ancients. Mama, please allow this trinity to naturally raise upright our fallen sisters to elevate them to their true celestial level in mind and spiritual substance. ~ The Sweet Crone Trinity – Mamayah El, SiStar Myrah, and Celah Eliana Bey.

8 ways to raise your vibration.

  1. Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality
  2. Find something beautiful and appreciate it
  3. Be conscious of the foods you eat
  4. Drink water
  5. Meditate
  6. Be grateful
  7. Practice acts of kindness
  8. Get your blood pumping

http://www.theholisticingredient.com/blogs/wholesome-living/13587702-8-ways-to-raise-your-vibration-your-positive-energy

Reading:        Saint Germain Press

Volume 4: Ascended Master Instructions, pp. 144-148

  • The Way to Freedom
  • For keeping awake
  • For going to sleep
  • Command as Christ

Volume 9: The I AM Discourses, pp. 178-182

  • On wealth
  • The Presence of Life is the Vibratory Action of Life in your body
  • Power of Qualification in the words that you use
  • I AM Decrees to call forth Perfection of Life

Violet Flame

SWEEP THE VIOLET FLAME THROUGH US!

Beloved Mighty I AM Presence,

SWEEP the Violet Flame through us (3)

Almighty I AM.

SWEEP the Violet Flame through us (3)

Give Thy Command.

SWEEP the Violet Flame through us (3)

Increase It each hour.

SWEEP the Violet Flame through us (3)

Love, Wisdom, and Power.

USE THE VIOLET FLAME TO TURN UP YOUR VIBRATION

1violetflame

Finding My Way

http://www.divineconnectionchurch.wordpress.com

http://www.fyicomminc.com/spirit/spirit.htm

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