I wrote this post 13 years ago. Today, Dad is 99, and he is at the VA Hospice, where they are keeping him comfortable until he expires. The downfall of our relationship is that I am extremely attached to this man and I am finding it difficult to let him go.
Besides being one of the most handsome men on the planet, my Dad is also one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met. I realized he was handsome when I was five years old. I told my Mother, “If you weren’t married to Daddy, I would marry him.” Of course, all girls who love there father and receive his love think that their Daddy is the best looking man in the world, so my statement isn’t really that stupendous. As I grew older and realized that some other girls were afraid of their fathers for one unwholesome reason or another, I knew that I did have one of the best fathers in the world.
He was strict. Make no mistake about that. He was never brutal to my Mother or to me. If he chastised me, he turned around and gave me a quarter to go buy candy at the corner store, which may have been bad parenting, but it sure left a sugar hole in my heart for him.
I suppose the one occasion when I knew my Dad loved me, unconditionally, was when my Mom told him that I was six months pregnant when I was only 16. I thought he was really going to crown me. But we sat on the couch in the living room and he grabbed my hand, at a moment when I thought my life was surely about to end, and he said, “We’ll work it out together.” From that day to this, 41 years later, I am convinced that some angels got together and delivered me to this angelic man. All my metaphysical reading convinced me that my Dad exemplifies the Ascended Masters. He keeps a good sense of humor and never lets life’s pitfalls get him down.
Now, I knew that Mom and Dad weren’t getting along, from a very young age, probably around 10 or 11. They split up when I was 13, a very fragile age for a girl. But Dad always let us know where he was and that we could contact him at any given moment. And, at 57, I still can pick up the phone and call him just to talk, to make a loan that I always repay or to get parenting advice to use on my two adult children and their offspring.
The one thing that I hold my Dad responsible for is introducing me to music. Our house was always filled with the sounds of jazz, blues, and classics when Dad was home. Mom was more of a finger-popper, but the pop music didn’t play when Dad was there. It was Ellington, Basie, Ella or Brahms, Schubert, and Tchaikovsky. Now, Dad worked as a postal railway clerk on the trip from Manhattan to Boston. So, he would be out three days straight and home for three days. When he was out, we were jitterbugging. But when he came home, it was strictly the serious music playing on our huge ebony wood Grundig stereo.
Our house was super clean. Both of my parents were sticklers for cleanliness, which was, of course, next to godliness. Neither was very religious, yet they maintained a high moral constitution. We were taught not to steal, lie or cheat at a very young age. Education was at the top of their list for us kids. My brother and I attended St. Clement Pope Catholic grammar school in Queens, New York. Both parents saw to it that we did our homework and got good grades. The result for me was a scholarship to the diocesan high school, Bishop McDonnell, in Brooklyn. I even went to a Catholic college, LaSalle, in Philadelphia, where I got my Bachelor of Arts degree in Music and Communication.
Today, my father is 86 years young. He walks every day and is married to a woman younger than my daughter! He has great vitality, eats right, minds his own business and takes the news with a grain of salt. Dad always keeps up with what we are doing, though he is not meddlesome. I believe this is one of the most important lessons I have learned from him. Live and let live!
There were a few reasons why I realized that my Dad was better than a lot of other Dads. First, he was always there for us. He worked hard. A military man, he was very disciplined and that spilled over into my life. He taught us how to cook, clean, read, comprehend and regurgitate what we had learned. Mom taught us how to really clean, but seeing Dad wash dishes and clothes, clean the floors and paint our house every other year, really reinforced what Mom taught us. I believe the downfall of every person on Earth is that they didn’t have both parents to reinforce good values.
I credit my parents with working hard to give us the things that we needed to be comfortable enough to study our lessons. As I grew older, and especially since I divorced my own children’s father when they were very young, I realized that the values instilled in me by Mom and Dad would get me through this life, no matter how hard the challenges I would face.
The second and most impacting reason why I love my Dad stems from something that was happening to a little girl on my block. We didn’t find out until she was in her twenties, but her father was molesting her, since the age of 10. When I learned about this, I was numb. She died in her early forties from an overdose of heroin, after giving birth to a heroin baby. It was tragic. We were like sisters and I never really understood why she was always so sassy and sarcastic to everyone around her, until I learned about her molestation. Her mother died when she was only 16. Then, her brother died in his thirties from alcohol abuse, but I really think he died from heartbreak that his father was doing this to his sister. So, from the moment I found out about this activity, I began to reflect on the way my Dad treated me. I knew I was blessed.
I was so close to my father as a little girl that, when he would come home from his postal run to Boston at 1 a.m., I would still be awake, waiting for him. A few times, I spent the night with my neighbor, who shared the driveway with us. I’d hear my Dad walking up the driveway and I would jump out of the bed and run home, just to hug Dad. He would always welcome me with open arms. He was strict, but he knew how to love me and that’s all that mattered to me then and now. Only of late did my friend tell me she would cry when I would leave. But she had a great Dad, too, so I think she understood.
I believe that my relationship with my father is the most important relationship I have ever had. I’ve been looking for him in other men. I came close with my last husband (I’ve had four), who is from Gambia, West Africa. He is Sunni Muslim and is very austere, no drinks, no cigarettes, no vulgarity, and he is very, very clean. It took me one year to realize that he was cleaning my floors every Saturday morning, while I was on the computer learning HTML! We are divorced and he is remarried with a beautiful little girl who is my goddaughter! Wow, that’s an accomplishment in itself, to remain friends with an ex-husband. But he is so much like my father and it is impossible to be angry with him about anything.
Just before my mother passed, she told me that my father is a good man. She said, “If I knew then, what I know now, I would have stayed with your father.” Now, they were like a bull and a matador. My Dad is Taurus and Mom was Virgo. So, they argued a lot! But, as they grew older, they calmed down a lot. I think, if they’d stayed together, they would have eventually gotten over their differences. Mom was diabetic and an amputee. About two months before her passing, I visited her at the nursing home, where she was cared for. I saw Dad hand her a piece of paper. When he left, I asked her what it was. She told me it was her alimony check. Wow! I was amazed because they’d been divorced for 18 years and he was still paying her alimony! I’ve had four husbands and haven’t gotten one alimony check yet!!!!!!
At that moment, I had even more respect for my Dad. He is a man of honor. It was difficult for my parents because my Mom came from a matriarchy, just her mother and her sister. Her Dad passed away when she was only three years old. On the other hand, Dad was from a patriarchy. His father raised him and his two brothers. Their mother was sickly. She lived on an out island in the Bahamas, while Poppa brought his sons to Florida, where he had a lawn service and raised them with a very stern hand. They said that Poppa was mean, but I believe he was just concerned that they grew up to be honest, upright men. They each had families. My older uncle and his wife adopted a daughter, but she died very unhappy, shortly before her father passed away, after leaving his wife for another woman. The middle brother has two children with a German woman who had a daughter when they met. Their children are accomplished, but he lives like a hermit, far away from them.
My Dad married a woman from Honduras who is 43 years his junior. She loves him very much, unless she’s a very good actress. I asked her how they met. She said she put an ad in a magazine or newspaper asking men to write her a letter. She said the letter my Dad wrote was the best one she received. He was in his seventies, then. He told me that the doctor told him he needed to have a woman to relieve his prostate. Sounded like a good reason to me (smile)! She takes good care of him. She has him doing Yoga and eating all the right foods. He has her taking vitamins and they both are aglow. I remember reading love letters that my Dad wrote to my Mom when they were in service and he was in Italy. They were just beautiful. I guess women love that sort of thing and he’s good at it.
I’m happy that my father is happy because, all my life, he’s been there to make sure that I have what I need to live in peace. I know his time is coming to an end. Longevity runs in his family. One of his aunts lived to be 103. Another lived to be 106. His father’s last wife just passed away at 101. So, there’s reason to believe that, with the tender loving care that his young wife gives him, and with the way that he lives – no smoking, drinking, vulgarity, stress – there’s a chance that he’ll be around for another 15 years, which will be fine with me.
I love picking up the phone to report something wonderful that has happened to me, like recently, when I first flew a plane, which really didn’t make Dad very happy. I told him I wanted to get my pilots license. He told me to “stay cool and on the ground!”
When I was in my early forties, I got the opportunity to travel to Europe to sing. I spent eight years in eight countries singing my heart out and, of course, the music in my heart came from my Dad’s long-playing records. I would call him every Sunday from a phone booth to report the concerts I had just done or was about to do. He was always very encouraging. He never intimated that I should stop singing and come home to attend to him. He’s strong. He’s independent. He’s kind and very loving and I am one of the luckiest women in the world to have a Dad like him and I make sure I tell him so, at every opportunity.
One last note, on May 7, 2003, we celebrated my Dad’s 83rd birthday. It was Dad, his wife, and me. It was a lovely afternoon and we had lunch. At 4:30 p.m., they left. At 5:15 p.m., my phone rang. It was my daughter. She was crying. She could hardly tell me that her husband of nine years had just been in a car accident. He passed away 45 minutes later. He was 37. The tragedy was that my daughter, who was alienated from her own father, had married a man who took loving care of the three children fathered by three separate men. The middle child, a boy, lived with his father, but the older boy and younger girl didn’t know their fathers. So, her husband was a very, very special man. He loved her and her children as if they were his own. The little girl was his. She was only two when the couple married. She was 11 when he passed and she was a REAL Daddy’s girl. His loss was devastating to us all.
I am one of the lucky ones and I try to extend extra love to women and men who are not so lucky. This is what my parents taught me and my brother to do. My brother has a non-profit organization, The Children’s Coalition, Inc., that is devoted to helping at-risk children find their artistry in photography, videography and computer technology. I am ever grateful for the angels who brought us to Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright.
So, every year, since then, I’ve had two men on my mind on May 7th – my Dad and my son-in-law, who treated me like Queen-Mother! Men are wonderful beings. Their upbringing makes them who they are and the way they treat their children makes us who we are.
Again, it is time to reinvent, after recapping the activities and occurrences of the past year. It was a very hot year, 2017. Many things culminated in 2017, including the completion of my doctorate.
This completion led to new beginnings that I am just now recognizing. I live in a new place, in a new city, with new responsibilities and goals. The goal is to take it to the next level. But first, I must recognize who I AM!
I AM the light, the way, the bringer of peace and tranquility. THAT is who I AM!
I live in the light. I walk the way. I bring peace.
I AM tranquility.
I AM ascending to higher heights of knowing, understanding, and being.
My universe is filled with moments of love, light, peace, and joy.
Singular bliss defines my existence.
Last week, I posed a question on the website http://www.quora.com.
This is a response I got:
In my life, I experienced a range of unexpected events, which was for me the best way to open my eyes and to become awakened. I endured a lot of very terrible negative situations.
I have experienced so much lying, cheating, deceiving from others about me in my whole life to turn your stomach around. In my younger years
I often thought about killing myself. Not, that I felt that I was a bad person, No. I was always happy with myself and my decisions. I just wanted to go back home (Heaven) and leave this selfish egotistical world. But, I was helped by my spirit guides to keep on fighting and more important to search for the truths of life. Still I was always trying to do the right positive thing, what is good for others and good for me and good for Nature, still, I was always losing. For a long time, I didn’t understand my life or the reason for it
Seeing as a twenty-year-old boy my father hanging at a rope, suicide. Losing later in life my loved two children, my possessions, houses, sail yacht, companies, all friends and almost all family. Little ups and even further down the hill. Even went on wandering for a while to find myself, again.
I was forced by life, to detach from my life and start searching for the truths in life and about life. Forced to learn about humans and our complete spiritual world. I had time to channel, time to write, time to search for the truths in life. I learned so much that I want now to share to help others.
By a very hard life, I have learned so much about life and people.
The reason for everyone’s life is to grow above the negativity of the ego perspective and to grow above the negativity of life. You can do this by formulating only positive thoughts in all situations. A positive thought is that what is good for yourself AND good for all other people in the world AND good for Nature.
You will then learn that neither a person nor a negative situation can make you feel bad. It is always your own decision how you want to feel. You will start to understand how emotions really work and that it is just a matter if your energy pattern of your thoughts line up with your Higher Self. More important you learn how to listen to the voice of your Soul, your conscience, spirit guides and even to your higher self.
All these negative situations I experienced in life, opened for me a new door that led to the path to enlightenment. Now, looking back, I don’t regret a thing, because I understand it was my time in this life to become awakened.
The ego perspective of many people will not understand this reasoning because they base their perspective on greed. When you start to embrace your pure positive Soul inside of you, you will know exactly who you are.
Our world is an illusion within an illusion still for persistent purposes. All our Souls are on a journey to grow from cycle 1 to cycle 9. Still many people need many lifetimes to grow even one cycle. Some give up and grow back into their higher self and start living further. That is also the reason we all are connected.
Almost all people live on a low frequency forced by our secret world government thought television, movies and even our way of life. Raise your frequency by making positive thoughts as explained above, grow above the negativity and start to awaken yourself. That is if you choose to do so.
I hope I have answered your question. More questions, let me know.
Following my first month teaching Speech Communication at Keiser University in Pembroke Pines, I returned to Southeastern College, where I am teaching my sixth class in Speech Communication. With each class, I learn to improve my teaching experience. For instance, for this class, I provide my students with a Glossary of Terms, a three-page document listing the verbiage used in the course.
Words like extemporaneous, rhetoric, and absolute relate to issues having to do with public speakers. It took me two years to develop this glossary and I am finding it very useful in this class. The point I am making here is that each experience, even when it is repetitive, can be a new beginning in life.
New beginnings are the path to excitement in life. When I completed my Master’s degree in Communications in 1994, I had no idea I would be teaching Speech 23 years later. Now, I am looking forward to teaching Business Marketing, which I studied for my doctorate that I completed in July.
When you remain open to possibilities in life, you find all kinds of opportunities that you never imagined. People implement change in your life when they learn about what you have accomplished. But you must continue to learn and grow. You must not stagnate.
What a travesty it is to for young people to think their lives are finished once they graduate from college, marry, have children, and raise them. At 70, I am embarking on a new journey as a professor and I am excited every single day. I encourage everyone to keep learning, keep growing, and envision your life as something new every day.
Dr. Joan Cartwright
Elisabeth Haich shares usually hidden truths that only a few rare individuals in any generation, seek, find, and communicate to others, enabling her reader to awaken within the essential understanding necessary to enlighten any life no matter what events manifest. www.znakovi-vremena.net/en/Elisabeth_Haich_Initiation.pdf
Questions from Chapters 1-10:
Like every good book, our lives have many chapters and my book is about to turn a page!
Now is the time for rest, recuperation, and renewal of my Spirit so that I can move forward toward my new goals and aspirations!
My new goals include but are not limited to:
Other events coming up this year are my father’s 98th birthday on May 7, 2017, and the birthdays of my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
Follow my journey at http://www.drdivajc.com
Today, in response to a blog on The Loneliness of the Spinster, I posted the following:
In defense of antiquated terms, I wrote this blog in April 2016: https://divineconnectionchurch.wordpress.com/2014/04
I am a soon-to-be 69-year-old mother of two, grandmother of five, and great grandmother of three, who is just completing a doctorate in business administration/marketing with the plan of being a professor for the duration of my life, after having toured 19 countries as a jazz vocalist. In addition, I am divorced four times over. My motto was and still is “You cheat. You hit. I’m gone.”
Moreover, I am a woman of color surrounded by a community of people of color who would be destitute if it were not for their good government job, which may come to a screeching halt in light of the plans of the President-elect. I have lived in singular bliss since 2000, and loneliness has only reared its evil head on a very few occasions. I cherish silence and solitude which afford me time to hear myself think.
Hannah, I do believe that people in loveless relationships are far lonelier than I have been in my singular state. Of course, I get to talk to my children regularly. However, they reside in other states and seeing them is not a regular occurrence. All of that being revealed, I am a crone, a mid-life spinster-of-sorts who has fashioned my future through education. As I told one of my Speech Communications students just last week, “Always give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Never let what others think you should do with your life prevail over your own wishes for you.”
Marriage and parenthood are overrated, in my opinion, especially bad marriages that subsist for the benefit of children who will leave the nest and generally leave mother to care for a dominant father. That is not the scenario for all marriages. However, it is a very lonely scenario. My advice to young women who have not fallen into the love-and-marriage cipher is to live the best life that you can for YOU! Period.
Your destiny is written by your higher self. Your soul records every single wish and desire and, if living single is your choice, no one should be able to dictate anything different to you. Regarding the glass ceiling for single, queer women (including those of color), the option of forming your own company to provide a product or service is always there, whether you continue to teach or not.
Think about forming a non-profit corporation to support women in their careers based upon the complaints you lay out in your essay. You may find a new path to tread that can bring light to hundreds, if not thousands of women around the world!
Hear my take on Writing Your Life at this site: http://fyicomminc.com/books/jc-books.htm#Write
Professor Joan Cartwright
You will know exactly the right thing to do at the right moment and you will do it!
The world is full of signs and symbols to guide you to your destiny.
Watch the beautiful scenery for we may not pass this way again.
Let us bow our heads in silent praise and gratitude to the Mighty I AM Presence which is lifting the Hearts and illumining the minds of mankind.
The most important activities of the Earth are the Inner and outer changes that need to be brought about for humanity’s advancement.
The Unlimited Force of the Cosmic Christ Light deals with darkness and no words can portray the Majesty, Power, and Victory of the Presence of the Infinite I AM. So, there shall be no doubt or fear.
Once the humanity of Earth has the God Understanding of the Eternal Perfection of the Divine Plan, it will do more to purify the chaos of the outer world than any other thing We know.The Truth concerning the Twin Rays is that Its Mighty Wisdom and Power can be utilized to realize that there is No Individualization of God at Cosmic Levels in the Fullness of the Mighty I AM Presence until your Twin Ray has made the Ascension. Earthly choice has nothing whatsoever to do with it. Each Ray must, by Conscious Understanding and the use of the Great Command, purify, perfect, and illumine all the human creation by which it has surrounded itself. It then becomes the Ascended Master who forever has Conscious Dominion over the Earth and all that is therein.
When both Rays have made the Ascension, They are of the same state of Purity, Freedom, and Perfect Dominion. The Two are then able to work at Cosmic Levels. There, They can project great Cosmic Rays of Love, Light and Wisdom, focusing them with such Power, They create and control Cosmic Activities and reveal the Great Glory of the Mighty I AM Presence.
The Supreme Decree of Love Everlasting
By the Command of the Mighty I AM Presence, I join these Twin Rays of the Eternal Flame of Life in Supreme Love, Light, and Perfection.
What glories and marvels humanity could and would experience if it would only reach up consciously and sincerely to the Inner Light and the individuals open their Hearts and feelings to the Mighty Magic Presence of the I AM.
When one speaks in terms of Universal Truth, there is no such thing in Infinite Creation as a ‘miracle’, for what the world calls miracles are only the operation of Divine Law, which, because of Its very nature of Perfection, sets aside all humanly established laws of limitation. It is to bring the Full Understanding of the operation of Divine Law into the minds of the children of Earth that the Ascended Masters have labored in the past and for which they still do labor unceasingly with the inhabitants of this planet.
The hour is rapidly approaching when humanity must awaken to the All-Encompassing Inner Presence of God acting through the individual.
The Light of God never fails!
Wisdom is of no benefit to anyone unless it is used, and through that use, the individual manifests Perfection, so he or she can live above every limitation.
Within the very Light which animates the physical body exists an Intelligence and Power that can and will carry out perfectly whatever the mind directs, when Harmony is maintained and all direction is constructive.
Love, Wisdom, and Power are the primal attributes which Life uses to build a Permanent Creation, and when mankind ceases its self-created discord, all Life around it and in Nature will express Permanent Perfection!
[Source: Godfre Ray King. The Magic Presence (Volume 2). Saint Germain Press, pp. 184-213.]